31 of 40

2 July, 2012

colombine

It’s about 5 am as I write this.  I woke up because I had to pee and then when I tried to lay back down I couldn’t find a position that was anywhere close to comfortable.  And lets not mention the indigestion.  The constant non stop kill me now indigestion.

I’m so physically uncomfortable, part of me just wants to have the damn baby already… but the other part knows after birth I’m going to be just as sore and tired and overwhelmed… It’s hard to know that a good nights sleep is not something I’m going to get for months more yet… months and months and oh man if I think about it too hard I just might cry.

Cry more.

And every I hear what a blessing it is to be pregnant I want to break something.  Because, sure, it is.  And it also sucks.

***

Being pregnant, especially at this stage, is the most publicly private thing I’ve experienced.  I hear lots of women expressing thanks to be at this stage, showing such a big belly that people can tell they’re not just fat but gestating.  They claim people are more willing to cut them some slack and do things for them.  I just notice all the stares.   When strangers ask me when I’m due or if I know what I’m having I don’t really mind, per say, but it’s still weird, having people I’ve never met or spoken to know this incredibly personal thing about me…

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3 Responses to “31 of 40”

  1. smoothpebble Says:

    i was so big with nate ( my youngest) strangers would ask if i was having twins… and the feeling of swollen heaviness, and cumbersome-ness.
    publicly private – exactly. people know you’ve had sex too. lol
    you are entitled to all of your feelings. but sometimes strangers give you tiny nuggets of wisdom that you’re thankful for later. i wonder if there is some anthropological, ancestral (sp?) reason people gravitate and feel compelled to speak to pregnant women?

  2. smoothpebble Says:

    oh and your picture is gorgeous! with those spots of blurred orange in the backkground.

  3. NGS Says:

    I’ve never been pregnant, but I think it’s a really dumb evolutionary idea. Why procreate at all when there’s such misery involved (ha ha – can you tell I’m not a baby person? People tell me all the time the actual little person is worth it, but I’m not convinced)? Anyway, I’m sorry it sucks and I will send good vibes your way!


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