13 June, 2010

bottlebrush buckeye

I’m hiding in the blissfully cold A/C, watching Germany score against Australia in some kind of glorious sweaty ballet. One midfielder has caught my eye already and I watch his beautiful legs move, all subtle sinews and graceful lines.

We’re moving in September, which feels at once too far and too vague and too soon and too real. I drink in the landscape here, sustained on the sweet hot summer air, soothed by the crickets and the cicadas, infused in the scents of tomato leaves and wet dirt and

-this is where my other self comes in-

lets not romanticize it, my dear. You are, after all, currently hiding from your neighbors who seem to be hosting a small barbeque with what looked like- I’m almost positive- those two people from high school that you have NO intention of talking to. Lets not forget the smell of asphalt and garbage cans and calamine and the humidity that hits you like a wall when you step between air-conditioned house to air-conditioned car. Lets not forget the people, the same fucking people you’ve known your whole life- the people who know everything you’ve ever done and ever wished you hadn’t- those people you see at every gas station, grocery store and bookstore outing- those people are HERE. And lets not forget, they really, really don’t care about football here. (Plus they insist you’re talking about soccer. )


3 Responses to “Here”

  1. ellen kelley Says:

    oops, that is what I have been calling “it”…as well as leaving the room while my husband watches because I can hardly tolerate that sound..the sound of a thousand killer bees coming after me.

  2. harlequin Says:

    It looks like you are of two minds- at least they are balanced, and each is given equal time to express themselves.
    Call me if one dominates, It’s never fun to have a minority self.

  3. smoothpebble Says:

    well, at least the one part of you is very content and doesn’t want to leave – i’m all about the grass being greener even though it’s really myself i’d like to leave behind. that would be the problem wherever i would be going i’d still be with me.
    lovely photo you took with your bad-ass camera!

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