Don’t argue with me, I have a Meghan.

21 September, 2009

pea and grass

When I graduated from college I bought myself a T-shirt to celebrate- it says, “Don’t argue with me, I have a philosophy degree”. While most people assume this means, “don’t (bother) arguing with me, I will win”, I’ve always felt it meant “Don’t argue with me. I’ve been argued with for four years and I’ve heard it all before in louder tones. Please”. The t-shirt reminds me that while I might not be a philosopher, might wish I’d studied something more marketable, like pole dancing, I didn’t totally waste my time getting a double major in philosophy. I can, at least, argue.
This last weekend, after the annual anthro department party and a bottle of tequila, one of the new grad students sat down next to Meghan and I.
“Hi”, I said, slurring through a smile. “I’m Lea, I wanted to meet you, you’re one of the few people who doesn’t seem horrified by my questions in our bio-anthro class”. The student offered his hand but when I reached to shake it he quickly pulled it back to smooth his hair, in perhaps one of the most cheesy and least intelligent gestures a person can make.
So that ambiguous t-shirt I have? Apparently it really should say, “Don’t argue with me, I have a philosophy degree (and my best friend is Meghan).”
“Oh really?!” Meghan asked him, eyebrows raised. “You’re going to pull that move in front of two social anthropologists? I see what you’re really doing, trying to situate yourself as a humorous insider, one who possesses the cultural capital and social standing that would allow him to include or exclude others from his social realm without knowledge of the preexisting social circumstances. You might want to rethink that move. She bites, and so do I.”
Then, I think, the student ran away and cried under a chair, while Meghan passed around more shots.

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6 Responses to “Don’t argue with me, I have a Meghan.”

  1. Meadow Says:

    Good to have a “bulldog” so to speak (a la Huxley, lest your Meghan think it a slant). I’m dying to know who this bumbling buffoon was 🙂

  2. Mwa Says:

    Great story. I should get matching T-shirts like that for my sister and me. Even though she did four years, and I cheated with one measly year.

  3. Jacob Says:

    You have a philosophy degree and a second philosophy degree? That’s both bad ass and totally should be a topic of a philosophy class. Will getting two philosophy degrees at the same time cause you to implode or to turn into pure light like the weird albino in Powder.

    And I think I would have interpreted that handshake to hair move differently. I would have thought, dude’s drunk and he reverts to middle school physical comedy when intoxicated. It has about as much power in gaining you social power as farting in a small room. Sure, no one dominates your conversations anymore, but it’s because they now think you’re creepy or mentally challenged.

    One of my friend’s little brothers really did clear out a classroom in the manner described above though. The teacher actually evacuated the room. It was pretty funny because I wasn’t in the room.

  4. Jay Says:

    Great. Next you’re going to tell me that pulling a girl’s hair isn’t the best way to let her know how much I like her.

  5. Harlequin Says:

    how on earth does one reply to things like this?

  6. jackie Says:

    Oh Dear God, this Lea is exactly why I keep coming back here again and again! Because you (and Meghan) make my day sometimes!
    BTW is Eli safely moored in some dry spot in Atlanta?? Or did his apartment go floating down the street?


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