A sandwich is better when someone else makes it, and other truths

2 August, 2009

midwest fields

I bought organic purple potatoes sometime this last winter, made purple french fries and blue-gray mashed potatoes and a kind of blackish-purple looking hash dish before I forgot about them, the last two potatoes left, forgotten in the back of the cupboard. One sprouted most amusingly, sporting perfect blue antlers on either side. I found it before it started to rot, named it Howard the Purple Potato, and stuck in in a glass half full of water. I poked it with a toothpick after a few weeks, trying to convince roots to grow… Poking it, apparently, was not encouraging at all because the water began to smell foul immediately after… I knew Howard was nigh for the world so I got my spade, dug a little hole in a container on the porch, and hoped for the best. Since, I have treated it as if it were any of my other plants: alternating between completely ignoring it and lavishing it with care and attention. Howard grew pitiful little sticks and sickly little leaves but I continued to ignore/lavish. Now August, I noticed Howard’s green above- ground parts died off. I dug with my fingers into the container and pulled out…..

four exquisite purple potatoes.   And, what is this?

A fifth?

Nooooo. It’s a Japanese beetle grub, larger than any of the potatoes. I tossed it on the ground, disgusted. It writhed, it’s lame little feet spasming towards the dirt, wriggling its transparent body of a mouth back towards the dirt. Without thinking I reached for the largest, flattest object around me and dropped it on top, hearing the wet pop milliseconds before my shorts were coated in the green slime that was, I assume, the larva’s intestinal tract. I screamed, laughed and looked around to see if anyone noticed, and looked at the four little potatoes I had just unearthed, suddenly much more in the mood for a snickers than anything grown in dirt with larva.

in other news, I’m currently eating a pear from a friend’s tree. I noticed the worm hole only a few seconds ago. Somehow, this isn’t nearly as bad as unearthing that monster Japanese beetle grub, but still, I’m suddenly much more in the mood for snickers.


2 Responses to “A sandwich is better when someone else makes it, and other truths”

  1. smoothpebble Says:

    Schweeeet photo! Yea, I’m in the mood for a snickers too now. I hate those damn Japanese beetles so I’m glad you crushed the little bastard!
    We have similar methods for gardening – ignore/lavish.

  2. harliquin Says:

    beautiful words, as purple as the potatoes themselves.

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