Anger on the ground

11 May, 2009

local news

I don’t think I’ve been sleeping at night since the sky fell, I think I’ve been dying. Nights I sink into the mattress, muscles screaming and then- nothing. No dreams, no waking up mid sleep to go pee. One minute I’m laying in bed, trying not to think, and then suddenly it’s morning and there are things to do, before it gets dark again and I can’t do them. It’s easy not to think when you’re sweating in your last pair of clean socks. It’s hard not to feel. Anger bubbles up through the soil, filling the empty places where trees used to be, overfills and spills out at the people driving by, filming me work.

One asshole parked me in, and when I asked him to leave he said “one second” before jumping over the tree into my backyard (trampling my last few living plants in the process) and kept filming. I chased the slimly little dipshit and told his camera very, very clearly to get the fuck off my property before I called the police. Put down the camera and pick up a goddamn tree limb, for god’s sake. I’ve seen countless able-bodied young men staring, mouth agape as men in walkers and children drag heavy, sap covered memories to the curb so they can be transformed into mulch at some later date, some time after the gas comes back on, or maybe the power.

I should be more like the birds, who can sing simply for the joy of living. At first they cried for their children- short, shocked calls. Today, their songs are mournful, hungry. They sing for the dead, for so much work, so painfully made worthless. I won’t be surprised though, if when I wake up tomorrow, when I wake up alive, I won’t hear as many bird songs. Tomorrow, I think, the birds will start rebuilding, and will be too busy for song. Unlike the dick-weeds with the cameras, we actually have things to do, lives to get back on track, weddings to pretend we’re not having in… oh god, 10 days. I really need to figure out where it’s going to be.


3 Responses to “Anger on the ground”

  1. Is it insensitive at this terrible moment to say awesome writing and amazing picture? If it is, then I didn’t say it, k?

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