Elka goes shopping

11 March, 2009


Spring Break:

Today I am pretending to be a German tourist. My black socks, pulled up to cover half my calf, bring out the pale blue veins in my legs (which contrast quite nicely with my bright plaid shorts). This baggy teal t-shirt could not be more comfortable or weather appropriate, and my (non-hooded) v- necked sweatshirt and leather fanny-pack adds just the right touch of world-ready flair I’m looking for.

But what should I do with my (new) self this lovely, allergy-inspiring afternoon? I don’t really feel like visiting the World of Coke, the aquarium is too expensive and the High Art Museum is just a little too serious for my mood…

I think I’ll go shopping. Not as myself though, but as Elka Hornswallow, the German au pair*.

The only problem, as I see it, is my complete lack of a German accent… Luckily for me though, Elka tends not to speak a great deal, preferring instead to shout rapid-fire orders in Mandarin Chinese.

*Elka has been in the US for nearly a year now, caring for the precious if soft James Gruffers III, only child of the irritating and wealthy James Gruthers II and his southern belle/wife Kelsey. Kelsey has taken James to Catalina Island for the week, leaving Elka free for the first time in a long time. The Gruthers have a lovely house in one of the expensive streets right up the block, which Elka secretly hates for its ostentatious columns.


5 Responses to “Elka goes shopping”

  1. TJ Says:

    can you really shout orders in mandarin???
    and we can work on a german accent together after we return from our respective hiatus’

  2. GraceArtemis Says:

    Three easy steps for faking a German accent:

    1. Add lot of “sch” to your speech.
    2. Replace every “er” in your words with an unclear “a”.
    3. When all else fails, shout “Verdammt!”. I’ve been told Germans say it all the time. Really!

  3. I had a wonderful time reading this. Thanks for blogging!

  4. GAP Says:

    I can teach you how to get a French accent 😉

  5. smoothpebble Says:

    Please, we have to know what Elka buys!

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