yet I stay wrapped in silence

31 October, 2008

bottle of blood

It’s been quiet.  I needed quiet.  Eli will descend with his noise tomorrow, as will school and alarm clocks.  I feel guilty sucking up the silence, but good too.

I haven’t written anything for myself in awhile now.

Thousands of thousands of words of pages of ideas lines text quotes and I’m in there somewhere, hell I’m between the spaces of every letter, but still, it wasn’t for me, it wasn’t mine.

I have totally given up on being a good student, now I would just like to be a passing student.  one who eventually gets her Masters.  I’ve given up on thinking I can work through the night- I can’t, I need sleep.  I’ve given up on being organized, on getting to all of my appointments, on getting it all done on time or even done at all.  But still, that niggling little maggot of a self-conscious whispers in the silence that I should be doing something else.

And damn if that voice isn’t right.

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2 Responses to “yet I stay wrapped in silence”

  1. Pare Says:

    Don’t forget: the silence is important for the doing. You have to be quiet once in awhile in order to BE. It’s okay.

  2. smoothpebble Says:

    That niggling little maggot’s twin exists in my brain – it’s friggin life, but hang in there it makes the sweet moments all the sweeter!


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