Because my feet are giving me the silent treatment

22 August, 2008


Dear Feet,
I’m sorry. I didn’t know those shoes were going to do that to you, I swear. I now realize that even those ridiculously tall and frighteningly pointy fuck-me boots that you sometimes prance around the apartment in would be a kinder alternative to the cheap, arch-less ballet flats I made you wear. I hope the inserts and the sneakers-with-skirt day makes up in some small way for the tortures to which you have been subjected (for what it’s worth though, they did look really cute as they crippled you).

From here on out I promise, I will only make you wear cheap shoes when you will not have to walk.  In the meantime, I hope you’ll like the pair above which I will sometime soon find for you (but you know, I’d be able to find them much faster if you would start working properly again).

As you know, I hate paying for shipping, so when I’m ordering you that pair of shoes which is only one or two seconds away from granny-orthopedic-ugly I’d like to also replace the boots we wore out last year.

I don’t care what you say about those old boots, if I find them again I will throw them away. They’re just too ugly and old, it’s become embarrassing (and besides, it really wasn’t a healthy relationship for you two, you need to learn to let go).

So which pair do you like the best, the top or bottom?



You HAVE to pick one, I told you, we’re not going to keep the old pair.

Seriously. Or I’ll be forced to ask my bloggy friends and buy the pair they suggest, no matter how you may feel about it.

-she who keeps you in nail-polish


3 Responses to “Because my feet are giving me the silent treatment”

  1. Pare Says:

    Holy sweet mother if you don’t tell me where to find the second pair RIGHT THIS SECOND I will never speak or write to you again.

  2. kris10tx Says:

    yep #2. I can soooo relate. Hate to say but I bought the infomercial inserts. They really work but only in ugly shoes! Crocs sometimes help but ugly really help feet pain. Happy feet rule!!

  3. The Second Pair!!!!
    and where do i find them???

    (i understand the pain of the first…but gotdaMN are they adorable)

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