no more slimey jewelry

27 July, 2008

new pencils

I hate body-modification.

I detest tattoos.

I’ll nod politely at your story of the meaning behind the beaver on your calf who is smoking a pipe (I think it’s a pipe) where the smoke spells out PHISH 4-EVR, but don’t confuse politeness with admiration– much like my attraction/aversion to car-accidents and skin conditions, I simply can’t help but look.

I’m not impressed with your rebellious conformity-  I don’t care how big the hole you put in your ear is, and honestly? I think the money you spent getting your arm covered in cartoons would have been better spent on an education, or, I don’t know, groceries.

But who the hell am I to second-guess your taste in self-mutilation?  Maybe it is motivated by something other than boredom and hubris. Maybe it’s comforting to you to have something that will never leave you- something more permanent than money.  Maybe you want the cops to be able to identify your body without an ID.  Or maybe you just like the stares.

I liked the stares, when I was 16 and got my tongue pierced before anyone else did in High School.

I was so fucking cool.

And it was so fun to be bad!  The el to Belmont with a cute boy who had never seen hay bales, code names and back doors (and, relax, sterilized needles and pleading phone calls to my mom), the most swollen tongue kiss and the most pissed-off chaperon back at the hotel (I was also the most bad ass kid in detention that next week for refusing to explain where I’d been).

And tonight, almost 10 years later, I took out my tongue-ring.   It kind of hurt this morning.  Or rather, my tongue hurt.  I scrubbed my mouth with the kind of enthusiasm usually only a dental hygienist on crank can muster and, mouth sparkling, I stuck my tongue out at the reflection in the bathroom mirror.  The bar just looked silly.

So, no more tounge-ring.  No more conforming rebellion with body-modification.  It was too hypocritical anyway.   But I can keep the memory of getting it pierced, and how cool I felt as I sat in detention that next week.


6 Responses to “no more slimey jewelry”

  1. GraceArtemis Says:

    Did you get detention for piercing your tongue or was it something else? (And can you get detention for body piercing anyway?) How cool were you in high school?

  2. Eli Says:

    hold on one minute. You took out your tongue ring?

  3. batspit Says:

    I was too cool for school, that much I was sure of.

  4. smoothpebble Says:

    Thank god I read this before I got my tattoo! After being in Hawaii I was planning on getting a tat, taking up yoga, letting the hair in my pits and on my legs grow out, and going bra-less. But you’ve brought me back to my senses!

  5. Kitt Says:

    You realize this makes me want a tattoo more, right?

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