Where the state bird, animal, and flower are all ectoparasites

10 July, 2008

So you say you want to visit Southern Illinois? You’ve heard of our glorious foliage, and want to dip a toe into one of our picturesque lakes? You’re just dying to dance at one of our Sunset Concerts, kick it old school with the Sufis at the irritatingly trendy café, and drop in on a stimulating class at our stellar university?

Let me dash all of your dreams with one fucking word:


They are so terrible this year. I need to be outside. So does Amelia. But every flippin time I walk out the door I know there will be a 10-45 minutes session where I have to pick the most disgusting of parasites off myself and out of the many, many, emphasis on the many layers of Fur that claim Amelia. (Yep, you saw that random capitalization correctly.  When your dog has fur like mine it’s only properly documented as Fur).

I’ve gotten the dreaded bulls-eye bite twice now and I’m pretty sure there’s still an encapsulated tick head in my neck from when I was 10… it gets swollen if I’m about to get sick… (Seriously).

Stop looking at me like that.


5 Responses to “Where the state bird, animal, and flower are all ectoparasites”

  1. smoothpebble Says:

    Very awesome photo! Do you use frontline or advantage? I mean on the dog?

  2. Pare Says:

    You have glorious foliage and picturesque lakes? Really?

  3. batspit Says:

    i wish they made frontline for people. I’d even volunteer to be on the first human test trial.

  4. Martha Says:

    Another amusing post of yours that I read aloud to my husband for a bit of evening entertainment!

  5. […] tiny bathroom to find out what the mysterious, upsetting itch on my thigh was (it was, as I feared, a parasitic moving freckle) when I discovered my panties were on […]

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